Feeling bad about 40 Acts

For those who have just started following, or reading my blog, 40 Acts is a Lenten challenge – 40 Acts of generosity over the 40 days of Lent. Not giving something up, but taking something on. You can read more about it over here.

I really did mean to follow 40 Acts as well as I could this year, but what with the chemotherapy wiping me out for days at a time I really haven’t felt “up for it” this year.


I have also found the challenges a little more challenging – but that could be my state of mind. I remember reading one challenge, Act 12, which read: Hospitality, the real thing, can be a blast: joyful, freeing, and hilarious. But it can also be a sometimes-painful sacrifice: of private space, of our priorities, of our food budget and schedules. Today we’re embracing both sides. The joy of hosting guests, and the pain of some stranger’s socks in the washing machine. Open your hands, open your doors, open your home.

As I had just woken from a long night’s chemo-induced sleep I just thought “Piss off”, turned over and went back to sleep!

But, as I have told a friend who has struggled with 40 Acts this year, it might be that the Act of generosity is to be generous to oneself, and not worry if there has been an #Epic Fail in completing them.

I am doing what I’m able to do – sometimes!

So, I engaged, a little, with today’s Act: ACT 20: Right now, send a quick encouraging text, out of the blue. And I sent a WhatsApp to a dear friend in Milton Keynes, and to my Godson

ACT 19: Yesterday was “Whinge Tin” – Complaint attracts complaint. Put a moaner in a workplace and by the end of the week they’ll have befriended every gossip in the office (and the lunch room will know about it…). So how do we do the opposite, and spread infectiously generous language? Try a simple first step: the swear jar model… I’m not sure about this, but I am certainly trying to show gratitude and thank God for what I have at the end of each day, although I do sometimes fall asleep before I’ve finished!

ACT 18: PERSIST: You’ve been praying. Hard. But you’re tempted to give up. Instead, push in. Rally yourself to pray gutsy prayers. What if today’s the day when your sixth lap of Jericho turns into a seventh, and the walls come down? This one is a personal reminder for me.

Although this is what I posted on the 40 Acts FB page:

As Emma writes: “God helped the Israelites, but not in their time and not as they had expected. ” Oh boy, don’t I know it! I have been aware for a while that I haven’t been trusting God, or feeling as close to him as I should be. And so I prayed that I would be able to find a way to feel closer to God, to learn to trust him more, to rely on him. And look!! I find myself with cancer!! But actually, it has been a good thing because yes, I have learned a little more to trust him, I do feel closer to him. But I can’t help thinking I’d’ve preferred another way of learning!!! Our God is good, but I wonder about his sense of humour sometimes…😏

ACT 17: STICKS & STONES. Ever caught yourself saying something that sounded nothing like you? Then stood shocked as you thought, ‘Did I really say that?’ We get over-familiar with our words, and sometimes miss the impact they have on people. So, we’re doing a review. What words do you find yourself using more than you realise? How can you flip the vocabulary table over to generosity? The GREEN challenge was Write some sincere, kind Post-its to put around the workplace or at home. Or, write one to someone specific, with words and compliments that mean something and show them they matter.  I think my constant Ninja note leaving might fall into this category. While I was at Lyon airport I scattered these around the departure lounge and washroom areas. The campaign continues…

ACT 16: INDIFFERENT DIFFERENCES: Awkward small talk. Just not your kind of person. Today we’re making an effort to challenge our perceptions. Most of us imagine we’re not the sort of people to make snap judgements or assumptions, just that, you know, we’d get round to talking to them tomorrow… or the next day. Well, today’s that day. No, I think you’ll find it isn’t. This just didn’t float my boat in any way. So I’m afraid I ignored it!

ACT 15: IMPACT: Is there a verse or passage that’s transformed you? Got you through a rough patch? A song that gives you a bit of hope every day? Share that with someone. Even at our low points, we always have something to give away. Jesus takes that as a given: in fact, he said he’s already ‘blessed us… with every spiritual blessing in Christ.’

Oh, yes, if you’re a regular reader you’ll already know this, but for my newer readers let me repeat it:

I shared this on FB.

ACT 14: HOME GROWN: It’s far easier than you’d expect to find a great local cause, and so worth it – this day has some amazing opportunities for you to connect in to your community in a way that sticks. Find out how generosity is already breaking out in your neighbourhood and get involved. You’re already where you need to be.

Sorry, 40 ACTS, not now. I can’t commit to anything at the moment…but maybe in the future. I make no promises!

ACT 13: INSIDE: Jesus is the original chain breaker. Freedom’s high on his agenda. So, that changes how we look at those stuck in physical captivity. How can you help those in a local prison? These are people who are often given up on. Can you extend hope to them – those furthest from most people’s kindness list?

Again, this felt like an enormous commitment, which I couldn’t face, but in fact, that day, I had an Amnesty International alert for a petition to release Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe ping into my inbox. When we moved here, I was unable to continue supporting Amnesty: however with online petitions gaining weight, I can be involved again. So I signed this petition, and will be exploring the other Amnesty “Take Action” petitions. Here is a link to the Amnesty International page should you be interested

ACT 12: FLING THE DOORS: I’ve already written about how this one really did seem just “too” beyond me. I couldn’t contemplate how I could possibly face this challenge. It’s one to be put aside for another day.

ACT 11: FAIR TRADE: Generosity doesn’t always feel dramatic and hopeful, particularly when we can’t see the effects, and we aren’t at the centre. But the generosity that shifts the course of history isn’t just spontaneous – it’s strategic, and structural. It’s the first day of Fairtrade Fortnight. Jump in, buy fair, and help bend the arc of history towards justice. There’s always a Fair Trade challenge, reminding me to try to buy FT whenever possible. But not now, thank you.

Yes, you can haz coffee – As long as it’s Fair Trade…

ACT 10: PROMPT: Faith is everything. In fact, if you look in the Bible, the only two things that amaze Jesus are people’s faith – or people’s lack of faith. So today, act in faith. Ask God how you could be generous, and listen for his prompt. But be ready: faith like this might mean a bit of waiting, and a bit of risk-taking.

Choose how you’ll complete today’s act: One option today: Purposefully walk slowly and prayerfully today. Ask God to show you what he sees and ask him to lead you into an act of generosity – ‘Lord, what do you want me to share today? How do you want me to share it, and who with?’

Sorry, I wasn’t walking anywhere today! But, in amidst the sleeping, dozing and zizzing, there were some garbled and jumbled prayers. Who or what for, I have no idea, but I trust God was able to sort the wheat from the chaff!!

ACT 9: STREETS: How much do you notice when you’re out and about? The walk to work, to school, to the shops can become an adventure in generosity. Step out of your ‘bubble’ and pay attention to the people and places you pass. Spot those opportunities to offer a helping hand, be a friendly face or offer a listening ear.

This is a “put on the back burner for later” challenge. I was in bed. Asleep.

ACT 8: I CAN: Don’t think your side hobby/ability is a gift? Take another look. It comes easily to you. There’s not much pressure or effort around it. When you step out with it, things happen faster than you expect. Sound like it might be a gift from God? And if it’s something that God’s put in your hands, then it’s something for you to give away.

This one is something I have been doing – sharing my zentangling. The most recent one went off yesterday to someone, but that’s a surprise, so I won’t mention it now. I sent this one to Floating Gold a few weeks back

and the offer is always there: if you’d like me to do a zentangle for you (almost any subject, not just wildlife!) then just let me know.

ACT 7:BRAND NEW: When was the last time you stepped into something new? Wasn’t it a little terrifying – make you feel inexperienced and maybe a little insecure? Well, we’d bet that right now you know a few new parents. Or someone in a new job, new to church, moving into a new house. Think back to what would have helped you, and offer it to them.

This strikes me as a slightly strange challenge, which may, for many 40 Activists, have been difficult to complete…but it’s certainly worth bearing in mind for the future. We went to our new neighbour’s restaurant on Monday – does that count?!


So, there you are: a catch up on how 40 Acts is/isn’t going with me!! And I will be generous to myself and say that All things considered, I’m not doing too badly!





2018 40 Acts :: 6 :: Chocolate Tuesday

Hello dear ones.

I hope all is well in your world. We had a lovely meal out with Louis and Odette yesterday: I’m rather lucky, as Mr FD does quite a lot of sorting-out-of-other-peoples’-computers, and sometimes, instead of paying him in cash, they reimburse in kind, as it were. So last night Louis & Odette took us out, Traudel -who co-owns a restaurant with her Michelin starred husband – owes us a meal, the hotel round the corner also says that we can have a meal there…Thank you Mr FD!

So, last night I had feuilleté des escargots (snails in a lovely buttery sauce, in puff pastry), followed by magret de canard au miel et figues (duck breast with honey and figs). Then I had fromage frais, instead of ordinary cheese, then finally pannacotta with a raspberry coulis. Very delicious, and lovely to be out with good friends.

And now, it’s Chocolate Tuesday on 40 Acts.

Lots of people in the 40 Acts community seem to love “Chocolate Tuesday”, but I’ve never really taken to it. Maybe because I’d be a bit suspicious if I discovered random chocolate bars left on trains or park benches…There’s also the language barrier, trying to explain what I’m doing. Michelle left a comment saying: I’ve gotten the impression in reading about your 40 Acts over the years that the French are befuddled by “random acts of kindness.” Is a correction assumption? Is it totally absent from their culture or thinking?

To be honest, I don’t know! It could simply be that I am very poor at explaining what I’m doing, or why I’m doing it; also, I’m very shy about approaching strangers anyway, which makes it harder. Certainly when I look up gestes de bonté spontanés on Google,there’s nothing dated later than 2015 so maybe this isn’t a “thing” in France.


Giving away chocolate. Maybe it sounds a bit less radical than the last few days. But small, overlooked acts of generosity achieve big things. Today, take a bunch of chocolate bars with you wherever you go – five, ten, or twenty – and fling them, carefree, to anyone you come across.

Green, Amber, Red: You know the drill. Chocolate everywhere.

I have to go to the chemist today, to fetch my drugs for after chemo, so I will take them some chocolate. And I’m going to make some healthy meusli bars for me & Mr FD, full of dried fruit and seeds. I’ll make a few extra, and take them to the Hypnotherapist man this afternoon. A sort of thank you, as I get the feeling it was a bit inconvenient fitting me in today. Whether I’ll be able to explain why this strange Englishwoman is bringing him meusli bars I don’t know.

So, here in St Just, it’s not Chocolate Tuesday. It’s

Healthy Meusli Bar Tuesday!

2018 40 Acts :: 5 :: FAVOURITE

Hello dear ones!

So Week of Chemo commences! I am getting apprehensive, and my stress-related IBS has started to kick in, but other than that I’m fine. I went to see my friend Claire, who is the local district nurse, and she talked me through stuff. We made appointments for my weekly blood tests and generally helped me feel organised. She also persuaded me to go to see a magnétiseur – I’m not sure what the exact translation is, but I think it’s hypnotherapist. This man apparently has very good results at reducing side effects of chemo with his patients, so I’m hoping to make an appointment with him today. I don’t know how convinced I am, so maybe if I go as a sceptic it might not work, but quite honestly, I’m willing to give it a go!

I’ve booked my taxi/ambulance to take me to the hospital – Mr FD can’t take me as he has an interview for a job! It’s not really what he wanted, I don’t think (there was a job he applied for at the hospital that he quite fancied, but he’s not heard anything from them) but beggars can’t be choosers. Especially when it’s a CDI! He will however come in to see me when his interview is over. I need to make sure I’ve got a couple of podcasts downloaded onto my phone – I’ve purposely not listened to the last couple of Kermode & Mayo film reviews – plus a good book and some music. That should keep me occupied.

Anyway, let’s get on with 40 Acts:


You will be enriched in every way so that you may be generous on every occasion, which is producing through us thanksgiving to God, because the service of this ministry is not only providing for the needs of the saints but is also overflowing with many thanks to God.”
(2 Corinthians 9:11–12 NET)

favourite flavor

The prompt reads:

What are your favourite things? Favourite film? Favourite coffee shop? A view where you go to be alone? Get ready to fly in the face of your impulses – and give those personal favourites away. Give away the novel. Pass on the scarf you think someone would look fantastic in. Share the introvert hang-out spot.

GREEN: Share a favourite. Think of a favourite book, film, piece of music, or recipe. It might seem small, but sharing your own enthusiasm is part of the fun.

AMBER: Share an experience. Think of a favourite walk, bike ride, or local hangout. Take a recipe you’ve loved cooking for years, and make it for someone else.

RED: Share sacrificially. Share a favourite restaurant, or tickets to your favourite artist/show/sports team with someone. Push past expectations and pick up the bill.

On a day when I’m not going anywhere (except we are being taken out for dinner) I’m not sure how to do this, except…except…there’s a niggly little voice (Hello, God)

You may remember (or not…) that I gave this book a rave review

You can read more about it here

I will send a copy to someone who comments on this page…If you’d like it, leave a comment and I will draw one of the names and organise a copy to be delivered to you. I’ll contact you in about a week if you’re the winner to get your address.

There you go! A favourite book, recommended and promised to someone.

JUST ADDING: It’s no good just “liking” the page. If you vwant to be entered into the Giveaway, I would like you to actually comment

2018 40 Acts :: 4 :: After You

Hello Dear Ones

I hope all is well with you. I am coming to terms with the fact that I won’t be going to the UK – thank you for your sympathetic messages – but I haven’t quite come to terms with everything else around my treatment yet. This morning I went to the chemist to collect all the drugs. It is a carrier bag full! I’m going to spend some time today putting them in bags, and labelling each bag, in different colours. These are for nausea, these are for mouth ulcers…etc etc. I think by doing this, I’m taking charge, and not letting everything overwhelm me. But it is still a bit scary…


Yesterday’s challenge changed its form – I had considered leaving some euros at the coffee shop counter at the hospital, but I was worried about how to explain in French what I was doing. So finally, as I had to stop off to buy cat litter on the way to the hospital, I picked up two boxes of reduced stock chocolates, at a bargain price. I gave one to the woman at the admissions desk. In France, before going to one’s appointment, you have to go through the admissions process, where they check your details and give you any papers that you need. There are about 6 counters, and they process you fairly quickly, but I imagine it’s not a very exciting job. So when I was explaining to the young woman who was dealing with me what I was doing “Um…c’est pour Careme…Vous connaissez Careme?…J’essaie de faire des actions…um…de gentillesse…Um…Ici…j’ai acheté des chocolats pour vous et vos collegues…pour partager…Um…” She was a bit taken aback, but pleased nonetheless, as was her colleague who quickly wheeled her chair out of her cubicle to see what was going on (obviously needed a chocolate fix!)

After my ECG (they found I had a heart!) I dropped the other box off at the Receptionist desk – this is where people go if they have questions about where to go, and there’s usually a couple of elderly-ish volunteers hanging around to take you to the right department – The woman there was also rather touched too. In fact there was a moment or two’s open-mouthed staring before she said thank you.

I also continued my programme of leaving Ninja notes in various places – so the Cardio dept waiting room and toilet got hit, as did the lift, and another toilet area. They’ll know who’s doing this by tracking the appointments – Who was in cardio today, but in the oncology department yesterday?!

So, on to today.

Putting ourselves first comes incredibly easy to our culture – just think about a group of strangers jostling to get on a train. Today, we’re taking a firm 180 on that me-first tendency, and finding a couple of practical ways to put others first. Expect surprising results.

GREEN: Whether you live in a bustling city or somewhere more low-key, take the time to say ‘Good morning!’ to people you meet today, letting them go first through the door, or in the queue.

AMBER: At home or work, do someone’s chores before they do. Put them first by getting there first.

RED: Are you in a situation where your desires clash with someone else’s? Prioritise their wishes above your wishes, even (especially!) if they aren’t in line with yours. Budge on the stubbornness. Make the sacrifice.

You can read the full meditation (which I really liked) here

Well, here in France a cheery “Bonjour messiuers-dames” when you go in a shop is almost obligatory, but I did my best, on this dreary wet morning, to be extra jovial in the boulangerie today. Green challenge “Tick. V.G.”

But the Amber challenge made me squirm a little. You see, I have been rather milking this cancer business. I know that I can’t do lifting with my right arm – so ironing, lifting shopping, moving cat litter trays are all things I can’t do, and have to leave to Mr FD, who has done all these things without complaint. I know that once chemo starts, and my immune system is shot, I certainly can’t be touching cat litter, or doing dirty jobs. I know that when I’m feeling fatigued there’ll be lots I can’t do.

But at the moment…well, I have rather been leaving jobs that I could do, knowing that Mr FD is being so good with doing stuff around the house, and thinking “Well, I’m sure he will do them eventually…” Cleaning the bathroom being one of those jobs. No heavy lifting required, my immune system is fine: there’s actually no reason why I shouldn’t do it. So today, I will heave on my Big Girl Pants and clean the bathroom so that Mr FD doesn’t have to do it.

As for the Red challenge – well, I think that one needs to be an on-going one. There’s nothing really at the moment that springs to mind, but it may be that God is storing this one up for me. As he does.

2018 40 Acts :: 3 :: DEAL (& Disappontment)

Hello dear ones!

Yesterday’s meeting with my designated nurse, Sonia, was more than a little overwhelming! So much information that it requires a large folder to contain it all – which will be great for my teaching notes when all this is over! – including myriad prescriptions, information, and things to make me panic. Everything seems so complicated at the moment, with blood tests being needed every week, and injections and loads of other stuff that needs organising. I need to sit down with the folder and a calendar and write down what drugs need taking when…These are necessary, these are if this happens, these are if that happens…

The biggest disappointment is that it is looking unlikely that I’ll be able to go to the UK when we had planned. Before all this kicked off, we’d booked to go to Manchester & Liverpool, to see my mum, and we had tickets to see Bill Bailey on Saturday evening, and Elbow on Sunday evening. With the date of the chemo we thought I’d be recovered enough from nausea etc to get to the UK. However, Sonia erxplained that, although the physical symptoms of nausea might be better, a week after the chemo session is when one’s immunity is at its lowest, so going on an aeroplane, with all its recycled air, then going to places where there are crowds of people, all with their own particular microbes really might not be the best idea. We’ll check with the doctor on Thursday, before my first session, but it looks like Mr FD will be going by himself. My brother is also going to Bill Bailey, and we hope that we can find someone else who would like to go, both to the comedy and to the Elbow concert. Ah well.

ANYWAY: I managed to leave a few Ninja Notes around the hospital, (and the supermarket, as we went shopping too) and as I’m back there today, I’ll leave some more.

Here is today’s challenge:


Any deal you come across today – go ahead and hand it to someone else. We’re not just talking old BOGOF-type deals: even if it’s just a bottled drink with 25% extra, go and give the whole bottle away. Whatever’s freely given to you, share it with someone else. It’s just a picture showing that everything God’s given you is yours to give on.

GREEN: If money’s tight, check around the house. Got two copies of the same book? Chairs you don’t need? Some extra biscuits? Upload a pic to your social networks and offer to give it away (and throw in the hashtag #40acts).

AMBER: Got a loyalty card? Give your carefully collected points away to someone else. Or use them to buy someone something nice to give away. (If I’d known, I could have used my Yves Rocher loyalty points, but I used them up yesterday!)

RED: Boost a local business. Put some cash behind the till at your local coffee shop or café.

Here’s the full meditation

I’m not sure about how I will carry this out – Money is a bit tight here in Dormouse Towers, but I think I can run to spending something…Maybe I will give 10€ to the hospital coffee shop to pay for some people’s coffee…I fear I will struggle to explain what I’m doing to the person behind the counter, and that they may think I am a bit odd, but I can try. I suppose I start to get a bit suspicious that the person behind the counter might pocket the 10€ for themselves, which isn’t very trusting of me, but I guess that, if they do that, then they need the money. If I pray that God will bless the recipient, then he will do so – whether they have received by fair means or foul!

Part of the meditation reads:

Something special happens when we are generous with what we’re given. Being irredeemably Anglican, my friend calls generous gifts, large or small, “sacraments of the heart”.

We both agreed that there is something compelling and transformative about such generosity. Like the young boy who entrusted his bread and fish to Jesus: what else was shared, what else happened in heart and hand that day? In that wonderful story we are told that Jesus took, blessed, broke and gave bread to his disciples – and they in turn gave to a hungry people what they had received. What was given to them.

So, if my suspicious thoughts turn out to be true, maybe still there will be something “transformative” about what I do.

2018 40 ACTS :: 2 :: ANON

Old Grumpy Pants is back!

I think that this period of waiting – waiting for all the appointments, waiting for the chemo, waiting for the effects of the chemo (& probably/ possibly the anticipation and imagining is worse than the reality will be!) – is getting to me. Even though I have tried to keep myself occupied, I am getting grumpier and more depressed (though not in a “black dog” sort of way. I don’t want to measure my “down” against clinical depression ion any way) so, in a way, I’m glad that today things are getting moving.

I have an appointment with my “designated nurse” – she will give me my prescriptions for a wig, and for ambulance transport; she will explain procedures more, and, I assume, give advice where needed. Mr FD is taking me out to lunch in the “English bakery” that we tried to go to a couple of weeks back and we will do the week’s shopping too. Well…it gets me out of the house!

Yesterday grumpiness really did get the better of me, so I decided that it would be A Good Thing to do something for others. So I put Rend Collective onto Spotify, rather more loudly than I would have done had Mr FD been in the house, and I prepared some more “Ninja Notes”. How apposite! Look at today’s Challenge…


The most thrilling type of generosity is done when no one’s looking. When there’s no one to impress. So: give in secret. Act in the shadows. Leave anonymously before you’re noticed. And if you’ve struggled with generosity in the past, give this sort of anonymous giving a go – see if a switch goes on for you.

GREEN: This could be a tricky act if you can’t keep a secret! Leave something anonymously for someone you know: a coffee on a desk, an encouraging letter taped to a car, a box of pastries left in the shared kitchen.

AMBER: Think differently: tape some change to a car park machine. Or the office vending machine. Or, wheel all your street’s bins back after the lorry’s been. Three key words for this act: creative, helpful – and stealthy.

RED: Leave something anonymously for someone you don’t know. This is your chance to do something you’d never do otherwise. You could jump onto a random wedding gift list, or pay for someone’s petrol before they make it into the shop.

You can read the meditation here as it speaks of some of the anonymous acts that people have done in the past.

Well, I think that this obviously calls for Ninja Notes to be left around the hospital today…

Some of them have verses from the Bible on them, some of them just have encouraging quotations. Here are some of today’s selection:


They will be left in toilets (!) or on chairs, in lifts or in corridors…I will trust God that the right person will find them.

2018 40Acts :: 1:: TARGET

Usually I am all afire for 40 Acts, but this year I am heading into it with a real Grumpy Cat-titude. No. Don’t want to. Why should I? Got my own problems this year.

Well, I think that today’s meditation sums that up for me.

Why should I?

Because in the most extraordinary act of generosity the world will ever know, God offered His son, Jesus, as a gift to all. We need only say thank you.  For some the response is too difficult; for others, too easy. But it’s a gift that requires no exchange.

40acts 2018 takes its inspiration from the book of James and the inextricable connection between faith and deeds. While it’s clear that we cannot earn our salvation or win God’s approval by our own actions, James sets out a framework for the kind of practical day-to-day living that springs from hearing God’s word, obeying it and acting on it.

So for the next 40 days will you join us as we sacrifice something we love? Our pride, privacy, time, reputation, treasure. Will you take a risk and be a radical expression of faith reaching out in love? Who can you target today?

We need only say Thank You.


The challenges today are:

GREEN: Draw a target (like a bullseye). At the centre, write ‘God’, then in each ring, working outwards, write who you have in your social circles, family, friends, and work networks. Who will you target with generosity?

AMBER: If you’ve done today’s green challenge and want to go further – find a 40acts buddy. Someone to check in with over the next few weeks, both asking how your acts are going and if the other needs help.

RED: Done both green and amber, and itching to get started with 40acts? Do something today for one of the people in your target.

In my present grumpiness I’m thinking Bah! I don’t know who I’ll target…It depends on the daily challenge…Which it does, to an extent.So it is hard to focus on who I will target, but I am thinking that this year is going to be different for me.

Those who read this blog regularly will know, but those who may have come over from the 40 Acts FB page won’t: I am undegoing treatment for breast cancer. It’s not A Big Thing. The tumour was removed, but because the doctors found some cancerous cells in the Sentinel lymph node, there is the possibility that some have escaped into my lymphatic system. Therefore, I have to undergo 6 sessions of chemo, over 18 weeks. That’s going to take me way beyond the scope of Lent, but I’m thinking I may try to focus my generosity, my acts, on those other women who will be going through chemo at the same hospital, the medical staff, and other people in the hospital – the ancillary staff, the people on the welcome desk, the administration team.

I’m not sure quite how I’ll do it, as it will depend on the tasks, but I will try. My celebrated Ninja Notes – encouraging Bible verses or quotations written on cards and left in random places – will no doubt feature heavily

But I will wait to see how God inspires me.

I think too my other target should be Mr FD – not because 40 Acts is telling me to, but because, as my nearest-and-dearest, he so often gets the brunt of my bad temperedness. So when I’m feeling at my most down, I hope I will be still able to not take it out on him. Mr FD, I love you dearly.

As for the Amber challenge, well, I’d like to think that you, my Dear Ones, my readers, are my 40 Acts buddies. I will be trying to blog most days, (although there are going to be chemo days when it becomes harder) and I would love it if you commented/ challenged me/ asked me questions/ keep me accountable, and on the straight-and-narrow.

So, off we go!