Act N° 32 (2017): Forgive Part 1

Hello everyone!

I am very happy today! Recently I found out I had to complete some paperwork for the French Government in order to register as Auto Entrepreneur. I hate paperwork, (even more so in a foreign language) and I got myself in a tizzy over it. A few weeks back, the Director of the language school with which I do contract work helped me sort out what I had to do, but I’d put off actually doing it. This week, I’ve known I had to do it today, and gradually, through the week, stress related IBS crept up on me.

But today, after only a tiny bit of procrastination, I sat down AND I COMPLETED IT!!!

It may not be all correct, but it’s done & sent off. So we shall see. Huge relief. I celebrated by having to go to the dentist!

So. On with today’s Act.

ACT 32 :: FORGIVE (part 1)

Bitterness will eat at you. And it can be properly hard to let grudges go. If you’re holding a grudge or a wound against someone who’s hurt you in the past, make this Easter the time you find a way to forgive them. God says he’ll give you strength to find compassion. In forgiveness, you not only set others free from a debt they owe you, but you also transform yourself – imagine what the world might look like if even half of us practiced forgiveness like this.

If you’re in a place where forgiveness is really hard, start by praying: ‘Lord, I want to want to forgive.’

Do what it says on the tin. And if you find yourself gritting your teeth, God’s grace will give you the strength to find compassion. Lean on him

I think I must be very lucky, really. I have really only had one time when I felt really let down by someone, and – although it took a long time to forgive, and even longer to “forget” (although I do still remember the occasion) – through 40 Acts a couple of years ago, I really do feel that I have finally “let go” of the hurt that s/he caused me. I think too that I have forgiven myself for the Stuff that was related to the event, and was the fallout from it too.

Otherwise, my life has been blessed with friends and family who are supportive and forgiving of me and my weaknesses. Other than that one thing, there have been no huge hurts that have caused me to struggle to forgive.

However…

Part of the meditation reads: But we can find it hard to forgive those with whom we have regular contact, partly simply because they are so close to us, and we know them well – foibles and all. We can cling to the ways they have let us down or acted unkindly, but when we do, the unforgiveness builds up like a wall between us. And our hearts form a hard crust, bit by bit, each time that we fail to forgive. 

It is these little things that I struggle with – tiny things which are nothing in themselves but which add up. Things that I feel Mr FD should have done, or didn’t do how I thought they should be done, or did when I thought he shouldn’t… I do find myself gritting my teeth, and muttering “Generous…be generous…” under my breath. I manage it – but not very open heartedly. And often, I don’t manage it without a snide comment slipping out.

That is where my struggle with forgiveness is. And it is an ongoing battle. I need to rely on God’s grace so much in these situations, and pray that he will hold my tongue for me.

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3 Responses to Act N° 32 (2017): Forgive Part 1

  1. magsmcc says:

    Oh, this is a hard one!

  2. Ariel says:

    Desmond Tutu and his daughter wrote a book called “The Book of Forgiving” which contains anecdotes, food for thought and some quite useful exercises for anyone aiming to free themselves from not being able to move on. I got partway through it before putting it aside and forgetting about it at a very busy time, but I did find it helpful and would recommend it. And should probably dig it out, thanks for the prompt. It would be a good thing to do at Easter.

  3. Pingback: Act N°36 (2017): HABIT | View from the Teapot

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